Barbaric Yawp: Resounding To Making 2009-2010 the Best Year of My Life

Posted by maria nazod on Sunday, October 18, 2009
Hello, Gentle Readers,

I realize it has been a long time since I've last blogged, but blogging to me is like long-distance running; once you begin, you want to continue, but if you don't really get past the first sweat, then keeping up with it becomes tough. However, a lot has happening, and I shall keep it general and succinct:

First off, after staying at a friend's lovely home in North Truro, (the neighboring town) that my two even lovelier friends so deigned to have me stay, the home is now re-occupied by its rightful owner, and I just could not be happier for her!

I have been back in Provincetown for the last two weeks. I will stick around for some of the winter season, for I love the thickness of quiet, but I am also going to do some amazing things. After deciding, upon getting laid-off last December that I'd be able to squeak by on my unemployment checks on a thread and a prayer, I realized that I've gotten more poems written, published, and more spiritual insight unto my own condition in the last few years than ever. I am going to extend these benefits for as long as I can. Bear in mind, even when the jobs become available in Ptown, it isn't wasn't until July, and believe me, if I couldn't find one by then, it wasn't for lack of effort. So, to quote my favorite rapper, Atmosphere, "when life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold."

And so I have. Ever since, I have undergone some various transitions, both health-related and personal. The "I-Ching," an ancient book of Chinese wisdom has helped me each step of the way, to clear the smoke in the mirrors that appear in my everyday interpersonal exchanges. Up until a few days ago, I was getting severe migraines, and could do nothing except sit in a dark room with a cool compress on my forehead. Before that, I suffered from minor nerve damage in my leg and could not walk, only drag my foot around. For those who know me, that did not stop me any; I spent most of my time in North Truro walking down 6A barefoot, dragging my bum foot around, on a good day walking toe-to-heel, until I reached Cold Storage Beach--one of the most magnificent beaches with the most majestic strip of cove I've ever seen. These walks will remain with me as my most soulful memories garnered while here on the Cape. 

If you want to argue that these sudden infirmities were stress-related, you're probably right. A lot of transitions have happened, and all of them for the better and wiser. The most important thing is the sacred now: it feels great to be back in Provincetown, to be able to walk down the street with my usual feeling of self-assuredness, and to still push past the occasional moments of molasses-thick writer's blockage and get right with myself. 

I have devoted myself to making this the BEST year of my life. Well, okay, the best year thus far, because who wants to condemn the future as mediocre? As if we have a choice in life, whether or not to make our destiny ANYTHING, but I believe despite the bracken, the twists, the mud, the wildflowers, or the begonias, on this path of life, you can sure as hell strap on the hiking boots and the backpack. And so I have. 
So long as work is scarce (which judging by the Massachusetts stats it is: 9.5%, last I checked), so long as I have the resources of my checks, as well as the resourcefulness, I have decided to devote this year to writing, travel, adventure, and anything else shall be ancillary to that end. Pretty soon, I shall be attending a writer's retreat in a gorgeous, secluded home. You pay them a beyond-reasonable weekly fee in exchange to stay at the Wellspring Writer's Retreat--a quaint home-- with other writers, and labor away at your craft. There is a college town nearby, and I really, really, could not be more excited. It'd be cool to hang out with people who are absorbed with ambitious energy, which lamentably, Ptown in the winter is, well, NOT. I mean, I am sure it is, but everyone who IS working on their creative projects is, well, hiding away working. I've long given up on meeting too many artists at a local bar in February...but, you never know...

After that, this winter comes Costa Rica. I just booked the tickets to San Jose! I CANNOT wait!!! All I keep hearing about are the rainforests and hummingbirds, the live volcanoes. Not to mention the excellent opportunity to stay in hostels and meet people. Beyond that...I cannot even begin to think about the poems that are out there....I could not be more excited. Even talking about it now, virtually, alone in a room, makes me excited.

Thailand is a distinct possibility also. Aside from the plane ticket, I am realizing that living in a hostel is cheaper than dirt. Cheaper than living in Ptown for a month, anyway. So, come early spring/late winter, Thailand is in the stars.

This books me up for the better part of the winter, with some stops in Ptown in between for a week here, a week there, but basically, I want every last travel, every last day spent here, there, and everywhere to be devoted strictly to the creative of new poems. I've gotten some great publications this year, and although this is not the sole purpose, not even the partial, I realize there IS a correlation with good writing, that is thought-provoking, and its eventual publication. 

There is still more. I have applied to numerous writing residencies and fellowships in places such as New Mexico, California, Bali, Indonesia, and elsewhere. In the next few weeks, I should be hearing back. In short, I could book myself up until 2011. It isn't that I wouldn't be in Ptown at all; I would, for some time in-between, as these residencies range anywhere from 1-3 months, but I feel that it is the healthiest, most autonomous choice to want to get out. I have an AMAZING group of colleagues here in Ptown, Jeannette Angell Cezanne and Fred Biddle, and I attribute most of my productivity to their discerning eye and honesty. My real goal, is to try to continue booking ahead, so that I can have places to go next winter also. 





About Me

Maria Nazos I'm a poet, I just wrote my first book, and I believe in destiny but I sure as hell don't wait for it. Check out my blog for my random thoughts, events, and upcoming workshops.