Call me Drenched. I've kicked the last of this cold and am grateful to see the last of it go. 

 Just took a walk down Commercial in the dark. My first nightwalk in what seems like forever. I couldn't even get on the beach because the winds were blowing so hard. I can't help but feel a little melancholic tonight. For what, I am unsure. I feel like whatever this feeling is, I have to carry it with me for a very long time. It seems more and more comforting to be alone. Sometimes I wonder if this is symptomatic of depression, unhealthy, vain, or self-absorbed. Maybe so, but if I peel beyond the outermost layers of the ego, all I can really say is, I want to be alone right now. Like my heart is a glowering Ingrid Bergman turning away from the world. All I can describe it as, is my gut, on an intuitive level, just keeps telling me to disengage outwardly, and connect inwardly. That makes sense. The previous four years of my life were spent engaging outwardly, in NYC, probably far too much. And I've made peace with the fact that I'm a functional extrovert, but actually very much the introvert. I don't get bored by myself. I'm actually pretty shy. It was like, in NYC, I was pushing, pushing pushing, to be someone that I wasn't. And today, that isn't who I am. At least not right now. I regret none of anything that I've done or undone. All I know is that loneliness is a paradox. With the seasonal change, with the brisk electricity, with the town almost totally shut down and a newfound sparseness on the streets, I have turned inward in every sense. I think my goal of coming to Ptown in the first place was to be in spiritual hibernation. And I don't intend to climb out anytime soon...it's cozy in here.