Loneliness And the Art of Reading

Posted by maria nazod on Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I realize as I veer closer to my time back in Ptown, that I have felt an acute something: loneliness. I realized, being in a room for the last three months, excepting visits back to the Cape, then Georgia, I have pretty much been here, all alone. I'm pretty solitary by nature; I generally like being by myself, and electing when to be social, in which case, I can appear to be the most social human ever. Rest assured, I am not. 

In the meantime, however, amid all the submitting to literary journals, and trying to ride the Taoist wave, despite the rejections of what I feel is some of my strongest work to date, I realize the surest way to free myself from the egoistic shackles is to reunite with a good friend: books. 

Since moving around to about six different hotspots in the last year--maybe even more--from a demented ex giving a helping hand to my getting ousted from my already-unpleasant living quarters, (I am even more tired of glossing over actual, past events, than I am discussing them) to the angelic Jeannette de Beauvoir and Paul Cezanne boosting my homeless couch-crashing ass out of the dredges of homeless, to finding the most piecemeal ways of "living" in the Ptown winter, actually netted some amazing results. I found myself at The Wellspring Writers' Retreat, on the beaches of Costa Rica, finally, to renting a lovely little cottage by the sea, with an even lovelier roommate.

Anyway. Now, as I move closer to cohabitation, at Bruce's--or should I say OUR place, (I have to say, who am I kidding. I've basically lived there since we got together in February. But to two commitment-phobes like us, it took us a year to admit it to ourselves), I realize that I've left my precious books at Jeannette's where she so generously allowed me to store them.

Well, when I come back, our stark, ocean-view apartment is going to meet a rude awakening: books, books, and more (probably dusty as shit) books. 

Right now, I am reading some good ones. I am wrapping up "Angry Women," edited by the brilliant Andrea Juno. This book is about a new, radicalized feminism, interviewing such compelling speakers such as bell hooks, Wanda Coleman, Kathy Acker, Avtial Ronell, and much more. These brash femme fatales speak unabashedly about S&M, tattooing, piercing, deconstructionism, rape, and much, much more! This book rocks.

I'm also reading "Life Skills For Adult Children Of Alcoholics," and its companion workbook. It teaches adult children of alcoholics (ACoA), how to learn real-life lessons (asking for what you want, defending yourself without losing your temper, etc.) might have bypassed them, due to their dysfunctional upbringing. Works for me! 

Just finished Anita Shreve's "Strange Fits of Passion." Pretty good, but I think Jeannette's better. 

The I-Ching: Book of Changes. But this book is more of a way of life; a kind of blood sister to my world. 

A book of poems by David Groff.   

And whatever else I can find lying around either the Santa Fe College Library, or The Art Institute's lovely but very cluttered library. 

What are you guys reading? Care to share?  



About Me

Maria Nazos I'm a poet, I just wrote my first book, and I believe in destiny but I sure as hell don't wait for it. Check out my blog for my random thoughts, events, and upcoming workshops.