Posted by maria nazod on Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sing it: "You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes..."
These days, it seems that all I find are more and more rejections, in my virtual and actual mailboxes alike.
Yet another one came yesterday, this time from Gulf Coast. Man. OK. I am braving myself, tensing up those muscles as my ego takes yet another blow.
I cast the I-Ching. Thus far, it has been my most powerful prophecy. Never once has this book misled me. It gave me the hexagram DIFFICULTY AT THE BEGINNING.
"That beyond the stress and difficulties, a success lies waiting. You must bear with the discomfort or chaos without attempting to push it away. Allowing it to clear on its own accord, in its own time, is the only way to insure a subsequent blossoming of success.
Hold to proper principles. In your actions, seek and respect the counsel of the Sage. Allow those whose hearts are true to assist you wherever possible; be tolerant of others. In this way the blessing that now lies hidden will come into the open."
OK. So. When it comes to the Ching, word is bond. And it isn't like I'm expecting life to completely turn around tomorrow, either. It has just been SO frustrating--journal after journal, most of them prestigious, giving me the same little note affixed to the almighty rejection: "Although we enjoyed your work, blah, blah, blah." Well, if you ENJOYED it, then would you please quit teasing me and just PUBLISH it already????? What have I done wrong? Where do I fall short? Is it my images? Metaphors? Are my long lines unreadable. Blah.
Last night Jeannette Angell and I sat and drank a bottle of wine. Jeannette is a dear friend and respected colleague, and among one of my best readers. Although she agreed that my work lately has not been my strongest, she reassured me that everyone goes through this. Everyone creative, that is. OK. So I can dig that. In my creative cycle, I liken this time to molting. To sloughing off dead cells. There is plenty else in life that I am beyond grateful for; I am coming up on six months with an amazing man whom I am completely crazy about; I enjoy my part-time job, and although, sadly my unemployment benefits seem to have ended, I am at least getting by, as I always do. I have great friends, I have my health. Who knows. You might see me riding a Pedicab pretty soon here for extra bucks....