Celebrating Ominidawn’s Publication of “PULSE,”
I have incredible news to share, but first, I want to tell you about my world leading up to it.
Fifteen years ago, I published my first book. Fifteen years later, I struggled immeasurably.
What I hate most about my industry is that we take ourselves so seriously. We opt for polish over humanity when that’s what makes our writing worth reading. Our real bios are the ones spattered in grit.
Not me. Not today.
I’ve shared snippets here and there of my past, but never the whole thing, not because of embarrassment but because there’s a lot to the story.
Here’s an abridged version of my life until the present moment:
2002-2007
• Took my MFA in New York City, ready to conquer
• Sent out work, getting rejected relentlessly
• Worked every job imaginable and scraped by on food stamps
• Moved to Provincetown, MA, and spent eight years cleaning hotel rooms, working as a whale watch boat attendant, selling sunglasses, and teaching community college
2007-2012
• Crazy ex stalks me for a year and a half
• I end up homeless for another year and a half, surfing on couches
• I recovered from PTSD. Kept living on the Cape, working odd jobs
• Fed up with the minimum wage, I apply for PhD programs
• Mentors tell me I’m not cut out for academia due to my dyslexia and poor test scores
• I Googled PhD programs and found one in Lincoln, NE, that doesn’t require GREs
• Got a full fellowship to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln
• I melted down my gold jewelry to scrape together enough money to move
2012-2017
• Drove across the country to Lincoln, NE
• During the PhD program, I publish in The New Yorker
• I met my husband, fell in love, and stayed in Lincoln
• Ten years after my first book, I finally pulled together another collection of poems, “PULSE,” as my thesis
• People say my career will explode; it doesn’t
• I keep sending the book to contests, making EVERY finalist pool, and then nothing
• I tell myself I’ll wait and fight for the RIGHT publisher, someone who is kind and who COUNTS
2017-2022
• Took my Ph.D., left academia for good, and pursued a digital marketing career
• Agents expressed interest in “PULSE”; then they didn’t
• Publishers express interest; then they don’t
• “PULSE” keeps making book contest finalist pools
• I put the book and poetry aside for a year
• Finally, I return, refusing to give up. Just like a heartbeat, I will not stop listening to the poems
2023
• I send the manuscript to Rusty Morrison at Omnidawn Publishing
• In 2026, Omidawn will publish “PULSE”
• Rusty, the editor of the press and a splendid teacher, editor, and poet, and I are happily working together to find the book’s best self
If I sound proud of myself, that’s because I am.
I have love for too many people to name who put up with my tantrums and resilience over the last decade and a half. Rusty Morrison, Deb Hicks, TJ Jarrett, Rick Christiansen, Emily Simmons, Martín Espada, Bill Berry, Travis Russell, Jayne Marten, and countless others.
Keep listening to your heartbeat.
